There is a huge thunderstorm occuring at the moment. It is beautiful. I've always loved them. I don't know, it's something to do with all that power, the energy. It's hot. Ever since I was little I'd had wanted to run outside as soon as a storm would have started. I didn't want to get stricken by lighting, of course, but I wanned to be a part of the thrill it seemed to have all had. Or just to stare out of an open window. I thought it was just unbelievably beautiful, the way the trees would dance and the raindrops would sing its chilling chorus. The wind would be leading them until the visit of Thunder, who'd let out a little roar, which set things straight again. and then once in a while the star of the show would appear - and also be heard - and that was the most exciting thing ever! The Lightning would get me right away. Pulse wickened, heart pouding, butterflies in my stomache - all the other stuff is really just foreplay, just to set the perfet scene - ready for the main player to complete the moment.
It's like in a dream.. Anyways, was just looking out the window in bliss at all the beauty and it was magic. It was like a movie and I really had it, that feeling of figuring everything out, for a bright little moment it was perfect. I even called my ex Michal because I wanted what Carrie had with Big, having an ex be a friend. But alas no, he never picked up - part of which had been the main reason we slipt in the first place. aaa! I hate people who dont pick up their phones.. and I was just gonna tell him that I'm happy and that it's beautiful outside and that he should see it! I was thinking Ahh he's probably just somewhere getting high too busy to pick up right.. But being me of course I had called the wrong Mike (so many bloody Michals in my phone its a wonder there's room for the other names..) Names names names.. I wonder which name will be next? ..who will be the next guy I'll be calling? Who'll be the next one I party with? Who will be the next lover? Who - if any - will be the next love? Or is it just like with a storm..that after its all over, all thats left is the aftermath - the broken branches, the leaves lying around everywhere. maybe - in the worse cases- a broken tree blocking the road. And then what?
So maybe its not really wise to love something that with one great gust of wind, with one great blast of light and one great thundering howl, sweeps everything into its belly of fire and then just leaves all broken. Leaving a new morning to examine the damages.. BUT also a morning with incredible possibilies. That's why to me, there nothing more beautiful. Its not just the storm itself but also all that is to come ahead. ...until the next storm.
**Added the next day (wednesday the 27th): Okay, so what did yesterday's storm bring? Horrible cold weather and rain, I'm digging out my wellingtons and something to keep me warm. Great, just what I needed. And to think I was so euphoric about all this yesterday. Huh.